A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.
This report has been a long time coming, and was one I had hoped I would not find it necessary to publish. But it is a matter of honor and of principle and I cannot in good conscience be silent. For me, honor and principle come first, always, before persons, no matter who they are. Persons can be wrong, but not so with principles.
Unfortunately this subject has become a public issue, due to the unscrupulous behavior of a woman named Ramola Dharmaraj, calling herself Ramola D, with whom I had an association between 2018 and 2021 (roughly three years).
She had been meddling in my personal and professional business, appointing herself as an unwanted intermediary, gossiping behind my back, exploiting my name and promoting false information in connection with my name, which caused me to break off contact with her in mid-2021.
At the time, there was a mutual acquaintance of Ramola's and mine, who was one of the parties Ramola attempted to influence against me, after she was confronted by me to stop her meddling. She was aggressively sticking her nose into my business, which had nothing to do with her, and finally managed to drive a wedge between me and a person who I had believed to be my best friend, for more than 2 decades (since 2001).
I now know that not only is this person not my “best friend”, he has proved by his actions that he is no friend at all, and probably never was a real friend to begin with, since he could so easily betray me under the influence of an aggressive liar such as Ramola D.
She was the instigator, but he allowed it, which tells me everything I need to know.
It was truly shocking to me, and at first very painful, as any such betrayal is guaranteed to be. But as time passed, I ceased to care about the emotional distress, since I know that a person who would betray me is not worthy of my concern.
I will not name this individual, not at this time, since I do not know if his betrayal has been made public. If it has, I have not seen it.
I have no way to see anything posted by him, as he uses social media and I am blocked and locked out of all social media as I am not a member. But the last I saw, some time last year, he was praising Ramola D to the skies, and endorsing her, even though at the time Ramola D was slandering me behind my back, including to him.
In the past this individual seemed to be a loyal friend, who would immediately notify me of defamatory messages against me sent to him, as any real friend would do. In this case, he said nothing and withheld such messages from me, which I had to hear about from another source.
Finally, this “friend” showed his true colors. I was being harassed by Ramola D by e-mail, with false complaints, and in connection to the latest such complaint (September, 2023), copied to him by Ramola, he sent me an e-mail declaring that he had sided with this lying gossip against me.
But I have a message to send to him, which I can only do publicly, since I have no wish to have any further dealings with him.
I am publishing some e-mails here, as explanation. The first given here was to make him aware of the unscrupulous actions of Ramola D. I have replaced his name with X. Edited to protect privacy.
X,
I know how bad things are for you, and I don't want to bring more stress, so I'm sorry to bother you with this again, but this is very distressing.
Just so you know, I have been alerted to what Ramola is doing by sending defamatory false accusations against me, from someone who thought I had a right to know.
I am outraged that Ramola would do this behind my back, apparently trying to get support from my friends against me. And forwarding her note to you to another person, AS IF to suggest you might agree with her? And I have no idea how many others are now the recipients of this gossip.... that is all it is...to try to discredit me.
For all I know she may have sent these messages (including forwarding the one to you) to a number of other people. She has ZERO respect for privacy and personal boundaries. I don't have any other mutual acquaintances with Ramola, so there would be no way to know how many people she has contacted, but considering all the people she has discussed me with in the past-against my wishes- it could be a lot. If anything is WRONG, it is this. It is becoming more than a "private" matter, and I have no idea how much damage it will do.
There has never been anything "absurd" in my reports, nor have I ever been "protecting" any operations! The report she refers to was about MY WORK, in which I stated my position on various issues. It had nothing to do with her, she was not named.
I am not a part of anything she is involved in, nor the people she promotes and supports, a number of whom are liars, shills and publicity hounds who are in my HALL OF SHAME. She needs to learn to MIND HER OWN BUSINESS or take the consequences!
****************
To
this message, I received no response. He had previously said to me that Ramola was "way off base" in her meddling and gossip, when I explained why I had broken off contact with her. But apparently, he had changed his mind, or fallen under the influence of her lies, or maybe he just no longer cared anything about me.
But I had issued the warning to my “friend”, telling him the truth, and so I let it go.
Next, here is an excerpt from an e-mail I received from Ramola D (September, 2023), to which I did not respond, as I had broken off contact more than 2 years prior. I published this e-mail in its entirety, as documentation that it was regarded as harassment.
The subject line read” “cease and desist”.
"Kindly Cease and Desist your defaming, slanderous, and harmful posts against me.
I am copying this to [X], our mutual friend, who knows the truth and knows that I stand by the truth at all times."
Now, here is the e-mail I received from X, which was the final straw that showed me that the betrayal I had suspected was in fact a hard reality.
It was addressed to Ramola, as a response to her harassment and false accusations against me, but was copied to me.
"Thanks for your email.
I am hurt by the discord which should stop.
Note that this statement by Barbara is false & reflects poorly on BARBARA.
"Ramola D is an aggressive, ambitious fraud, plain and simple."
I request that BARBARA please apologize to RAMOLA.
I know RAMOLA to be a wonderful & giving person whose work benefits all mankind.
Both are my dear friends & each has helped me immensely.
As my health worsens with no way to offset the DEW attacks, I am distressed to see that my two best friends (aside from [XX]) are at odds.
Sincerely yours,
[X]"
Here is my public message to X:
First, I should correct the statement about “discord”.
Here is a definition of “discord”.
Discord: lack of agreement or harmony (as between persons, things, or ideas)
active quarreling or conflict resulting from discord among persons or factions
To say there is discord is a false assumption.
FACT: There was never any discord between me and a person from whom I had cut off all communications over 2 years prior. There was no interaction whatsoever. No quarrels, no disagreements. I simply walked away when Ramola disregarded my wishes about respecting my privacy. Period. Case closed.
She continued to pursue me and I ignored her. She continued to make false accusations against me, behind my back, and including on her website.
At no time had I ever done anything wrongful to her. She was the sole aggressor. She drew first blood.
Any written statements published on my website were in my own defense against her false accusations, nothing more. No lies, no slander, no defamation. Only the truth, which apparently is not something certain individuals value over their own ego-centered agenda. Evidence of that truth was contained in her own words (false accusations behind my back and later openly).
I do not allow discord or conflicts in my life, which is my prerogative.
And contrary to his opinion, no truth I have spoken could ever reflect poorly on me. It only reflects poorly on the actual offender, Ramola D. And it only tells me how low he views me, in his estimation.
And
for someone who had known me for such a long time (over 20 years), it
shows he never really knew me at all. If he could even begin to buy
into the lies of a meddler whose goal was to discredit me and drive a
wedge between me and a friend, for her own self-serving purposes. But he did, by his own choice.
Of course, he is entitled to his opinion about Ramola D. Obviously, I don't share it. Hell, no. Not after her manipulative, unprincipled behavior against me, to further her own self-serving interests, at my expense.
At least I now know the truth about a person who I once believed was my “best friend”. Better late than never. That he could so easily betray me, that he could grossly insult my honor, which he had every reason to know was unimpeachable, through observation of my actions, and which he previously had always defended.
Lastly, I don't allow anyone to admonish me, to tell me what I “should” be doing, as in, to “apologize” to a person, an unscrupulous wrongdoer, to whom I had done no wrong. How dare he!
This is outrageous, there is no other word.
I consider his message to me as null and void. It contains no truth, no respect, no honor. Only a stunning betrayal, which tells me all I need to know.
Barbara Hartwell
In Defense of Truth & Honor
January 31, 2024
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