I really don't want to talk about this. I mean, I really, really do not. It's just too personal, and I've never met a soul who more fiercely guards their privacy than I, especially when it comes to health-related issues.
But after I thought about it, and considering all I've been going through, I decided that I want it on the record, as long as I leave out most of the gory medical details, which nobody needs to know.
Maybe others reading this have had similar experiences, perhaps they can relate to the painful feelings of frustration at having to navigate a medical system which fails to provide the care needed, when it is needed, especially for the poor and elderly.
I should first state that for my entire adult life I have used alternative medicine, such as naturopathic, homeopathic and chiropractic. It has always worked well for me, since I try to avoid drugs when possible, as well as invasive treatments like surgery, unless in cases where it was absolutely necessary.
I have also been a vegetarian for my entire adult life. Not for 'health' reasons, but rather because I love animals and cannot bear the thought of violence done to God's innocent creatures, especially the miserable lives in the brutal factory farming system. Animals are my friends, my companions, whom I could never purposely harm. (And I don't care who says otherwise, they have souls! Just look into their eyes, with the discernment the Good Lord gave you, and you will see the truth.)
Still, it has been proved to me that I am in much better shape than if I'd had a lifetime of meat in my diet. But I digress...
As any person who has done the serious research (or experienced it firsthand) knows, the mainstream medical care 'system' leaves much to be desired.
What the Marxists implemented under the totalitarian regime of Obama (“affordable care”- what a sick joke!), after destroying countless lives of families, they then moved on to the planned Covid debacle, which basically finished off any possibility of getting basic, decent medical care without jumping through multiple hoops designed to make it as difficult as possible to stay alive, much less in good health. Now, the commies are pushing euthanasia, just to kill us off faster than ever.
I had never had health insurance in my life, not until I turned 65 and became eligible for Medicare. Before that, I was mostly deprived of the medical care I needed, since I was living in dire poverty, engineered by the government after I managed to escape the clutches of CIA. In case you don't know, here's a tip: they will do all in their power to destroy the lives of anyone who dares to stand up against them and their corruption.
After years of political persecution, they made sure I lost just about everything I owned, including my house in Maine (an inheritance), in which I had invested everything for years; it was the only security I had – until they found a way to take it from me.
And the injuries for which I needed medical care? They were responsible for those too. 'Arranged' car crashes (not accidents) which, by the grace of God I survived, but leaving me with spinal injuries and nerve damage, which left untreated (no money for doctors), and which later became the painful disabilities I have suffered for years.
I finally got disability “benefits” (another sick joke!) after I hired a pro bono attorney (for the elderly, poor and disabled) who proved: that I am physically disabled, and that I had no official employment history, and received nothing from the government on which to live.
I got the lowest of the low for disability: LESS THAN 12 THOUSAND DOLLARS PER YEAR. Who could possibly live on that? Not I. It doesn't even cover my rent, much less any other expenses.
I have no other reliable source of income and am not employable due to serious disability. My only hope is Christian charity and donations to support my work as a journalist.
Basically, this is happening to me not only because of the longterm abuses of the government, but also because there is not a soul I can rely on for help, even in an emergency. The operative word being “rely”. No spouse, no family, no close friends who care enough to make my well-being a priority.
Recently, I have had to make a number of visits to the emergency room for acute medical episodes. I can't drive at night and at the times I could not get a ride I have had to call an ambulance.
I have spent hours and hours waiting in the ER, while they did what they could to help (including tests) and to treat the symptoms.
A very serious problem is that they don't have enough doctors, and the waiting room is always full. On the last night I was there they only had ONE doctor available, and not even enough rooms for the patients. I was stuck in a chair, right out in the open, no privacy whatsoever.
Some of the nurses were kind, and listened to me, while some were abrupt and seemed not to hear a word I said in trying to explain what was happening to me. One woman, a PA (not a doctor) would not let me get a word in edgewise, and kept interrupting me and making assumptions.
I insisted that I see a DOCTOR, and finally got a couple who did listen and did seem to understand.
But I still need to see specialists and the soonest appointment available was weeks away, when I need it NOW.
In the latest trip to the ER, I had to go by ambulance, and after spending 4 hours was released after they had done what they could. It was 4 AM. I had no one to call to pick me up at that hour, and was told that the Medicaid transportation available did not start until 6:30 AM. I was sent back to the waiting room, where there were only wooden chairs. Time passed. I kept asking when I could get the Medicaid cab. At first I was told it would be 8:30 AM. But they didn't show up. Next, it was 9:30 AM. I was told they “cancelled”. No explanation given. Next, I was told they had called a different company for 10:30 AM. But they too canceled, with no explanation.
By this time I had been sitting on a hard chair since 4 AM, waiting for a ride. It was cold, and the door kept opening, letting in a rush of freezing air. I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. I had no acute symptoms, but was still unwell.
Finally, it was 11:30 AM. So, in desperation I decided to call a cab company I use to see if they were available on short notice. Fortunately, one driver I know said he could pick me up shortly. By 12 noon, I finally had a ride. I had been sitting in the waiting room for EIGHT HOURS, with no relief.
I had to stop at the bank because I had no cash. And I had to pay for my own transportation, which never should have happened, as I am entitled to Medicaid “benefits”.
But the ordeal did not end there. I was given a prescription, with which they had already treated me in the hospital, and which helped. I went to the pharmacy, to which they had called ahead. According to the communist system, you can now only get a prescription at one pharmacy of your choice. There are no written prescriptions anymore, it's all digital.
I drove to the CVS pharmacy. I was told they did not have the medication in stock. I asked if I could have it filled at another nearby CVS. No, they said. That was not allowed. I asked, Then what can I do? I need the medicine. They said they “might” get it in on Monday. So I would have to come back.
I suffered through the weekend. Then I drove back to the pharmacy on Monday. I asked if my prescription had come in. They said they would “check”. I waited for half an hour. I was then told that they had it. But there was a problem. The printer had broken down, and now they could not issue the prescription to me because they could not print the label.
I asked how long it would be to fix the printer. They now said a second printer had also broken and they did not know how long it would be.
I could not possibly sit there any longer, waiting. So I said I would come back the next day, Tuesday. Finally, after waiting another hour on line, I got the medicine.
While filling out the form to get my prescription, one of the questions was: Had I had vaccinations? A whole checklist: Flu shot, Covid, etc. etc.
I told the pharmacist that was nobody's business. I was told that I could not get my prescription unless I answered. The box to be checked said “NOT YET”. So I told the lady, raising my voice so everyone on line could hear: Listen up. For the record, there is no “not yet” involved. There is only NO. Absolutely NOT. I have NOT had any vaccinations. I will NEVER have any vaccinations and this is a police state.
All these problems...
I wonder, is it like this for everyone? Not for those with money, who can afford the best care, who have some support system to help them with some of the things they need, like transportation. They are not up against it alone.
I am truly disgusted, as well as heartbroken. This should never be happening to anyone, much less a destitute, disabled senior citizen whose only “crime” is trying to survive, while standing up for my God-given unalienable rights, as I have always done.
From my observations, people are just accepting this outrageous tyranny, making not a peep in protest. Nobody seems to care.
And that is the scariest thing of all.
Yes, this may be a sob story, just like many others you may know, even possibly some of you reading this. But I am not seeking sympathy, that is useless to me.
The best I can do is document the situation. I want it on the record, just in case anyone might care, or that the facts of the case might cause someone to take action to help someone, somewhere, who is suffering because of this “socialized medical system”. For make no mistake, that is exactly what it is.
The rabid leftists have destroyed our country, the Democratic Socialists and their pals, the violent Jihadis, are now in power in our government.
Who will dare to stop them, before it's too late?
Barbara Hartwell
Attempting to Stay Alive in the Communist Police State of New York
November 12, 2026
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PRAYER REQUEST FOR HEALING
https://barbarahartwellvscia.blogspot.com/2026/10/dear-brothers-sisters-in-christ-this-is.html
