Addendum: I wrote this article in February, 2004. I have cleaned up some typos and changed the paragraph structure for clarity, but otherwise, the article is in its original form.
I decided to repost this article because from my observations, the 'Morality Wasteland' has, over the past five years, become worse than ever, including on the Internet.
There are even low life demon-possessed sex perverts and porno-mongers, harassing me personally; as well as fabricating pornographic filth in connection with my name, in attempts to destroy my personal/professional reputation.
These monsters, those who promote this loathsome pornography, and use it to harass decent people, are an abomination to God!
Get behind me, Satan!
GOD'S LIBERATION FROM THE MORALITY WASTELAND
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. "
--1 Corinthians 13:4
"Love is the astrolabe of God's mysteries"
--Persian mystic Rumi
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the Temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price; therfore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
-- Corinthians 1:18-20
Lately I have become increasingly disturbed by the downward spiral in standards of morality I observe around me on a daily basis.
The preponderance of gratuitous and graphic sex in otherwise "respectable" films is one example. Just last week, I rented a movie which was billed as a "detective thriller", a murder mystery, to watch with my family. To my horror, a totally unexpected pornographic image was flashed on the screen: A prostitute in a sleazy nightclub "servicing" a man, which actually showed an erect penis.
We couldn't believe it! We switched off the film, not knowing what to expect next, and disgusted that the actress, Meg Ryan (who did not play the prostitute, but a character almost as skanky) would star in such a film.
When I went to look at the DVD case, I saw that the film was marked "UNRATED". I guess the Hollywood sleazebags came up with this new rating as a means of injecting more filth, to give their viewers more bang for the buck.
Sometime last year I decided to change my e-mail address and took e-mail contact info off my website. The most compelling reason was that I was literally sickened (as in, hand me the barf bag!) by the assault of pornography that hit my mailbox like a tidal wave of raw sewage, day in, day out.
The porno-mongering degenerates became so aggressive that instead of just ads with links for these hideous websites, they started sending full color glossy photos of their perverted wares, which slimed onto the screen before the unfortunate recipient --Yours Truly-- could turn my eyes away and hit the DELETE button.
Although I wrote dozens of complaints to various servers in an attempt to stop this pornographic harassment--and harassment it certainly was-- and blocked hundreds of e-mail addresses used by the S.O.B.s, it was an exercise in futility...the incoming sleaze was relentless.
IS CENSORSHIP THE ANSWER?
It's no secret that pornography is by far the biggest seller on the World Wide Web. Tragically, a barometer of what I can only call The Morality Wasteland into which the world has devolved. It's not that I'm for censorship, even of the purveyors of the most vile perversions. The obvious exception is child sexual abuse and pornography, which is a felony crime. No doubt about it, the perpetrators of such atrocities should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!
But otherwise, censorship is a slippery slope. Who's to say what shall --and shall not-- be banned from publication? With the advent of the treasonous Patriot Act and fascist Department of Homeland Security, and the corrupt Bush regime's tightening net of attempted control of citizens' lives, while trampling our Constitutional rights into the dirt, the last thing I would support is further government-controlled restrictions of any kind.
Censorship is not the answer.
The problem, as I see it, is not just that pornography is widely AVAILABLE, or even that the purveyors of this filth engage in aggressive campaigns to promote it. The problem is that the population --or at least large segments of it-- have become innured to its destructive nature and blinded to the DANGERS of pornography in ANY form, even those considered the most mild and "harmless"; for example, pornography which is euphemistically deemed "erotica", in an attempt to sanitize and mask its true nature.
The truth is, NO form of pornography is harmless. In fact --from a spiritual perspective alone-- it is more dangerous than most people could ever imagine.
PORNOGRAPHY: ENTERING THE DANGER ZONE
Why is this true? First of all, because pornography degrades and demoralizes the human spirit by making sex into a commodity; a soulless "recreational" activity, devoid of love and spiritual meaning; by such perversions as sado-masochism, group sex or homosexuality; and worst of all, by exploiting in the most debasing manner what God meant to be a private, sacred union between a man and woman who have entered into a marriage covenant based on true love.
And even though "true love" may be one of life's most profound mysteries, such love between a man and woman can ONLY come from the grace of God.
Pornography, on the other hand, is an abomination to God. In essence, any involvement with pornography taints the user with unclean spirits and effectively cuts off the user from contact with God. There are NO EXCEPTIONS. Those who make or use pornography cannot possibly know God. In my estimation, slamming the door in God's face is the greatest danger anyone could be foolish enough to bring upon himself!
Unclean spirits, and in some cases, demons (yes, you read that right, demons!) feed off the psychic energies generated by the vile images depicted and attach themselves to the etheric energy field of the user. As for those directly involved in the making of pornographic films and photographs, unless they clean up their act, and renounce --once and for all-- these ungodly vices, they're on the way to hell, in a handbasket!
Some reading this may think that only someone caught in a Victorian time-warp; or perhaps a holy-rolling religious fanatic, out of touch with the real world, would make such claims. But for those open-minded enough to read on, I will explain some things you may not be aware of --assuming you think there's nothing wrong with pornography--which may actually cause you to radically change your viewpoint --not only about pornography-- but even about sex outside of the exclusive bonds of marriage. For the love of God, I hope so.
I've no doubt there are many Christians out there who already know and understand exactly what I am talking about. But even if you are a Christian, it's possible that you may still be surprised, even shocked, at some of the truths and hard facts I will outline here.
Though it would be easiest to simply address this topic from a Christian viewpoint, I won't do that --at least not entirely, in the hope of keeping the attention of non-Christians or those of other religious faiths. Instead, I'll present some accurate information from both a scientific and generically spiritual/metaphysical perspective. Information which is time-tested and has been proven over millenia. Facts are facts, regardless of what religious beliefs you may hold, or even the lack thereof.
I find it important to state that I write this article, not only motivated by a personal loathing of pornography, and all that it represents; as well as from sincere concern for the spiritual welfare of others; but also from a professional perspective, having had many years of training and practice in psychotherapy, metaphysical sciences and pastoral counseling; and as a licensed and ordained minister (no longer practicing as such) with a doctorate degree in divinity (D.D.) since 1979. In other words, my carefully considered professional opinion, based on longtime direct observations and research.
Over a period of more than 25 years, in counseling clients from all walks of life, including marriage and family counseling, I have been privy to the serious problems and psychopathology of people whose lives have been shattered when they were led astray by ungodly sexual perversions; pornography; and ill-advised sexual relationships devoid of real love, comittment, exclusivity and absolute loyalty.
In other words, any form of sex, not just outside marriage, but OUTSIDE OF A MARRIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN. And it's clear just by observing the dysfunctional state of the general society, that most marriages, sadly, are very far removed from what God intended them to be.
Now let's take a closer look at some of the VERY REAL dangers of being a user of pornography; a subscriber to sleazy magazines such as Playboy or Penthouse; of a lifestyle of sexual promiscuity; or of engaging in sexual relationships (including what is known as "serial monogamy") outside the sanctity of marriage.
SEX AND THE ETHERIC ENERGY EXCHANGE: BECOMING ONE FLESH
First of all, most people do not realize that when they engage in sexual relations, they also engage in an energy exchange with the other person. There is no way to prevent this; it happens automatically and it applies even if you have sexual relations with someone ONLY ONCE!
You are literally opening the door and throwing out the welcome mat for unclean spirits, or even demonic entities, which may be lurking in another person's energy field. And once they're in the door, they are not easy to get rid of.
This is one reason why there is really no such thing as "serial monogamy". This trendy phrase may sound comforting, AS IF the partners are actually being faithful to one another by virtue of an agreement between them to have an "exclusive" relationship. But most of these relationships do not involve a marriage.
In reality, a more accurate description would be "serial fornication". There is no "exclusivity" nor "faithfulness" in jumping from one partner to the next. MONOGAMY, on the other hand, means marriage to ONE and ONLY ONE....NOT one at a time!
Scientific studies, especially those in quantum physics, have proven what religious mystics and metaphysicians have known for millenia. The human body is far more than a three-dimensional physical system. An energy field, best described as etheric or spiritual in nature, both surrounds and permeates the physical body, interacts with every cell and is part and parcel of the life force which supports and allows all functions of life.
The basic energy of an individual (known as a "frequency signature") exists as a result of your genetic codes (DNA, the interface between the incarnate body and the spirit) but also changes and mutates in response to physical, emotional and spiritual life experiences.
Physical or psychic trauma; or abuse of drugs or alcohol, will damage and weaken your energy field. Spiritually uplifting experiences, such as prayer and meditation; or spending time in a beautiful natural setting, near the ocean or in a forest, will strengthen and purify it. Thus, what you choose to focus your mind and attention on; and what you take into your body, will actually change the nature of your energy field (spiritual body) either elevating it or degrading it.
Your unique spiritual energy, your life force, is nothing less than a precious gift from God. It was meant to be protected, cared for and used in all ways with maximum discretion; and to glorify God within the body and spirit.
When you exchange energies with another person through a physical act of sex, the energy fields actually merge, affecting each person according to the type of energy present and being generated by the other. In simplistic terms, exchange of etheric/spiritual energy and the merging of energy fields is the basic meaning of what the the Bible says about a husband and wife "becoming one flesh".
Now, consider this: Do you really want to become ONE FLESH with a person from whom you could be tainted with unclean spirits? With someone you do not truly love and/or who does not love you? With someone whose purpose is to use you and your body for mere physical or ego gratification; or as a matter of "convenience"? Perhaps in a misguided attempt to assuage loneliness? With someone you can't rely on or can't trust? With someone with whom you cannot envision a future, who could be here today, gone tomorrow?
And, if these scenarios are not bad enough, what about becoming ONE FLESH with a "one night stand" or even a prostitute?
Imagine this: For the sake of argument, assume the person is a heterosexual man. The male practitioner of "serial monogamy" (serial fornication) has tainted his precious life force with a chain of unclean spirits (only God knows how many!) passed along from EVERY woman who had PREVIOUS sexual relations with him; as well as EVERY person who had sex with his CURRENT female partner. And so it goes.....in some cases, depending on the individual's sexual habits and history, this could mean HUNDREDS of unclean spirits attached to his energy field!
I think it's safe to say that most people would be horrified at the very thought of such a thing!
And yet, like it or not, BECOMING ONE FLESH (along with a hellish host of unclean spirits) is what you are setting yourself up for if you enter into a sexual relationship for any reason other than within a marriage made in Heaven, that is, a spiritual and physical union ordained and blessed by God.
PSYCHIC TRAUMA & ATTACHMENT OF UNCLEAN SPIRITS
Psychic trauma has many and varied causes, such as sexual abuse; violence; mental cruelty; abandonment or betrayal. It can begin as early as when a child is still in the womb and can continue throughout the course of a lifetime.
But psychic trauma is not only mental and spiritual in nature. The energies of this trauma will store themselves in the cells of the physical body as well and can be every bit as "contagious" as any viral or bacterial disease, any sexually transmitted disease. In other words, through the act of sex, these psychic traumas are transferred from one person to another. This is called a psychic/spiritual imprint. In truth, there is no clear separation, no line of demarcation, between body and spirit. Body and spirit function together in a symbiotic relationship.
Most people have more than enough psychic trauma of their own to deal with. Most people don't realize that by having indiscriminate sex outside of marriage, they are burdening themselves also with SOMEONE ELSE'S trauma. It bears repeating: It's a long, difficult process to cleanse yourself of traumas transferred into your energy field. In fact, most often, a ONE YEAR MINIMUM is required, from the time of the last sexual encounter with each and every person.
And what about those demons? Do they really exist? Unfortunately, they do. I know this because I have, as a minister, in the name of Jesus, personally cast demons out of people in many situations. I have SEEN them and they are REAL. And as sure as the sun rises in the east, they WILL attach themselves to anyone who pursues an unclean, ungodly life.
STEERING CLEAR OF THE MORALITY WASTELAND
Do you want to liberate yourself from the Morality Wasteland in which you are now living? Cleanse yourself of unclean spirits? Or perhaps, especially if you are a young person, do you just need help in learning to steer clear of the Morality Wasteland BEFORE any damage is done?
No matter what your past history is; no matter how tainted you may be from the bondage of unclean spirits, THERE IS HOPE. Because, with God, all things are possible. But ONLY with God.
First, do some soul searching: Do you honestly want to share yourself in an intimate manner with a person you are not in love with? A man or woman you don't wish to marry? Or a person who does not love you enough to want to marry you? This may sound outmoded and old-fashioned, but if two people are really "in love" their natural desire is to have a lasting bond, not only in the flesh, but also in the spirit.
TRUE LOVE, BY THE GRACE OF GOD
Over the years, I have often had clients, friends and relatives confide in me, when discussing their relationships (sexual or otherwise) the same basic dilemma: Well, I don't really know if I'm in love with so-and-so.... Or, I wonder, do you think this relationship could turn into real love?.... Should I sleep with this person?.... Should I marry this person?
As for the question: Are you IN LOVE?
In truth, there is ONE very simple and fool-proof answer to this question. If you don't KNOW; if you are even a bit confused; if you are not absolutely SURE, then it is NOT REAL LOVE. As Robert DeNiro said in his classic line in the film, Ronin, "If there's any doubt, then there IS no doubt."
I believe that every person DOES know, in his or her heart of hearts, if the love for another is real and true. Assuming you have taken a reasonable amount of time to get to know someone, you will KNOW, through spirit-filled intuition, and in every fiber of your being, physical and spiritual. And if you don't KNOW, then it's NOT REAL. In which case, it's time to get out!
This applies to any situation, even if you think you have "invested" too much time or energy (or even money!) in a relationship, to leave. Again, if it's NOT REAL, GET OUT and GET OUT NOW. The energy, time and money you have spent mean nothing (certainly not in God's eyes) IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS WRONG.
It's worth repeating, time and again: TRUE LOVE can only come from God. If it doesn't come from God, well then, there's only one other place it could possibly come from. And if you have any spiritual smarts at all, believe me, you don't want to go there, don't want to be there.
Of course, there are other kinds of "love" and they are all just as real. The love of a parent for a child; one family member for another; a love between close friends, or Christian love, based on a shared love of God and Jesus Christ. ALL forms of love come from God.
But being IN LOVE is the special type of love which makes for a marriage made in Heaven. It is very simply one of God's greatest mysteries. It can't be rationalized, can't be analyzed, can't be disputed, can't be negotiated. It is either THERE, or it is not. And there is no substitute, never was, never will be.
But even if you know in your heart that the love is real, that you are really "in love" with someone, it does not mean that you should just jump into a marriage. Look before you leap! After all, there are compelling reasons NOT to marry and the best one I can think of is that the individual does NOT meet your personal standards. If you love God and respect yourself, those standards should be as Godly as Godly can be.
MAKE YOUR STANDARDS FOR CHOOSING A MATE SKY-HIGH
I believe God made each of us as a unique individual --just as no two snowflakes are exactly alike-- and it's important to know exactly what you want and need in a marriage partner: The non-negotiable standards which you should not be willing to compromise, for any reason. If God won't compromise, why should you?
When you set your standards sky-high, according to God's law and will, you are in essence asking God to direct you to the right choice. ONLY GOD can know your heart and who is right or wrong for you. After all, God LIVES in your heart. If you are willing to settle for anything less than a marriage made in Heaven, then there can be no doubt, you're on the road to heartbreak, one way or another.
God loves you and wants only the best for you. If you are willing to be patient and put your trust in God, do you think He would want you to marry someone you are not really IN LOVE with? Do you think He would set you up with someone who does NOT love you, or whose treatment of you would bring grief and heartache into your life? Of course not!
The problem, as I see it, is that most people simply do not have enough FAITH in God to let go of their self-centered, ego-driven will and let His will be done. They may desire real love but falsely assume that surrendering to "God's will" means taking a bitter medicine or having to sacrifice what they really want and need in a mate.
Nothing could be further from the truth! It is important to understand that GOD CREATED MARRIAGE, meant to be a blessing to His children, the true meaning of a marriage made in Heaven.
What about "love at first sight"? Does it really happen? I believe it does. I have heard enough testimonies and seen enough evidence of this phenomenon to know it to be real. I think that love at first sight may, in some instances, be God's way of letting you know who your true soul mate is, the One-and-Only whom God intended for you.
And I do believe, with all my heart, in a One-and-Only, a soul mate, destined to be, before the Foundation of the World. I've often heard New Age types talk about the concept of soul mates. Most of them seem to think that there are numerous "potential soul mates" rather than the ONE God intended.
To me, this is truly sad. Such a belief takes away the specialness, the sacredness, the romance. And reduces love to a sort of cosmic crap-shoot. As if to say, Well, if this one doesn't work out...not to worry, another will soon come along.
But even love at first sight does not make everything perfect. It does not necessarily guarantee happily-ever-after. God gave us free will, and for a good reason. We are called upon to use our God-given discernment in all areas of life, not least of all in choosing a mate.
Although I don't think any of us can honestly claim to fully know the mind or will of God, I believe it is possible to have some understanding of the standards God has set, meant to bless us in exercising our free will in choosing a marriage partner.
CONSIDER THESE ATTRIBUTES
Here are some of the basic attributes you might want to consider, BEFORE getting involved in any romantic relationship with the intent of marriage. These standards are not necessarily all-inclusive, nor would I presume to set the standards for others. But for what it's worth, after having given these matters considerable thought, both professionally and personally (and after having two failed and miserable "arranged" marriages in my own life); and because of my love of God, I can say with absolute certainty that I would not consider marrying any man who did not measure up in these categories, no matter how much I might love him.
[Note: For the sake of convenience, I have used the male forms "he" and "him" but unless otherwise indicated, they all apply to either sex. Double standards, one for men and another for women, are not acceptable in the hearts and minds of most people, nor do I believe they are acceptable to God. At least in my view, it is discernment; works and fruits of the SPIRIT, not gender, which truly matter.]
BASIC VALUES: Do you and he share the same basic values in life? Extreme conflicts in values do not auger well for a solid relationship. If he is, for example, a bleeding-heart liberal with communist sympathies who believes in "gun control"; and you are a rock-solid conservative, a defender of the Constitution, ready to defend your right to bear arms, the relationship doesn't stand much of a chance. Consistency and commonality in basic values are a must.
HONESTY: Has he been honest with you about himself, about his background and personal history? If not, it's important to find out WHY. Assuming he's not a spy (in which case you'll have to decide if you can live with a "need-to-know" basis) you have every right to know WHO he really is, so you may make an informed decision before getting involved in a relationship. If he lies to you; behaves evasively; refuses to give you his home phone number or you don't know where he lives.....forget it, you'll never have peace of mind.
RELIABILITY: Does he keep his promises? Can you really on him to show up when he says he will; to call when he says he will; or to be there when you need his help? Is he capable of making a real commitment? Many marriages end in disaster, simply because one of the partners is not reliable, usually because he or she has other priorities over the relationship.
ABSOLUTE LOYALTY: This is the most important quality, at least by my way of thinking. If two people are loyal to each other, the chances of forming a solid, lasting relationship are greatly enhanced. A lack of loyalty, on the other hand, dooms a relationship from the start.
Has he indicated to you by word and deed, has he proven to you that in his heart he is dedicated to you alone, renouncing and forsaking all others, past, present and future? This is an absolute requirement for fidelity. Semper Fi!
If he has a history as a "womanizer", was it ancient history, or rather a pattern of behavior that continued up until the time he met you? If this is his recent history, the chances are that this behavior will continue, regardless of the circumstances, or his claims to the contrary, because it usually indicates a deep-seated psychopathology and low self-esteem. It can also be a form of addiction and not an easy pattern to break. The same applies to a woman who is "man-crazy".
And here's another important issue: If he was involved with or married to another woman when you first got to know him, did he end the relationship speedily and with a clean break, making it clear that she was the WRONG woman, BEFORE expressing any romantic interest in you?
If not, forget about loyalty. You are not important enough to him to "forsake all others"; he is self-centered and unreliable and that is a recipe for heartbreak! Or.... did he perhaps expect you to wait around, while he made up his mind, stringing you along, as if you were nothing but a back-up?
My advice: Never, EVER, "wait" for anyone who continues in a relationship with someone else (male or female). It is an insult to your dignity.
Something else to consider: Unless at least a year has passed between the time he ended another relationship, it is likely that he still has unclean spirits attached to him. If it's really true love, he'll be willing to wait and to ask God to cleanse him of any spiritual "imprints" he has been tainted with. If not, he's not worth waiting for.
WILLINGNESS TO COMMUNICATE: Open communication is one of the most important things in any relationship. If you can't discuss issues, you can't possibly reach an understanding, an agreement, or resolve disagreements. Without communication, you don't even know where you stand in relation to to your partner. Beware the man (or woman) who refuses to discuss or address basic issues, especially the ones which are most important to you. Refusal to openly communicate indicates a control freak, whose motto is likely to be: My way or the highway! It's also a warning that there may be a double standard, where YOU are on the losing end.
TRUST: Is he trustworthy? Do you have a feeling of "safety" in his presence? Do you feel secure with him? Will he protect you, if a threat should arise? Most important, would you trust him with your life? If not, don't walk...run....and don't look back!
HONOR: Will he stand up for what is right and just, no matter the consequences? Will he stand up for YOU, and defend your honor against all enemies who wish to malign you, slander you or bear false witness against you? Defending the honor of your loved one is an inseparable part of being loyal. If he won't defend your honor, he's not worth your time.
BELIEF IN GOD: Does he believe in God? Not necessarily as a specific matter of "religion", but of faith. If he does not believe in God, then the chances of having a REAL relationship with him are slim to none. How can he love you, if he doesn't believe in God, whence all real love comes? If he is religious, do his beliefs conflict with yours to such a degree that there are irreconcilable differences? Or do you feel a spiritual peace in his presence? The spiritual bond is by far the most necessary requirement for a solid, lasting relationship, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."
THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS WITHIN YOU
This is not a perfect world. There is no such thing a "perfect" marriage or a "perfect" spouse. Only God is perfect. Although we should strive to emulate God's perfection, the rest of us are flawed. But The Kingdom of Heaven DOES EXIST. It exists within you. God DOES make marriages in Heaven, as sure as He lit the quasars and all the stars of the firmament, before the Foundation of the World.
There are no guarantees of what God's will is for you, at least not that we can know. But God DOES answer prayers, in His own time and His own way. So before you offer your prayers for the marriage made in Heaven, you must make yourself worthy in God's eyes. You must forsake the Morality Wasteland, the land of unclean spirits, once and for all.
February 22, 2004