March, 2003 was the last time I was able to see a medical doctor. At that time, I had sought medical care for an acute, but persistent and debilitating illness, brought on by extreme stress; and by exposure to electromagnetic radiation (directed energy antipersonnel weapons.) But in addition to this illness, I had other longstanding chronic illness, plus disabilities, all of which were a direct result of longterm abuses by criminal perpetrators in the United States government.
The other diagnoses of chronic illness and disabilities, made over a period of many years by various physicians and specialists (allopathic, homeopathic, naturopathic, chiropractic, ayurvedic, etc.) were also confirmed by this doctor.
The doctor, though an M.D., practiced naturopathic medicine, which is why I chose her. I have never trusted doctors (a result of my horrid experiences with those in the medical profession, connected to CIA) and resorted to allopathic medicine only in cases where I needed surgery or other medical intervention --matters of greatest urgency.
The doctor well understood why I was chronically ill. This woman, an "expert witness" in 'Legal Abuse Syndrome', also understood that I was financially destitute, had no health insurance, and was "not eligible" for disability benefits of any kind.
And after speaking with me at length, and listening to my story, she understood precisely WHY I was "not eligible" for ANYTHING which might help me survive --not disability benefits; not a pension; not even social security.
The truth is, I am a "ghost" who has fallen through the cracks of every government system imaginable. I have no official "employment history" (that's the deniability of "non-official cover") and have not paid into the social security system. I have never in my life held any sort of "regular job".
The truth is, the U.S. Government got hold of me when I was a small child, recruited me (without my consent or knowledge) into their black programs, utilized me for twenty-five (25) years of my adult life (1969-1994) in various CIA operations; exploited me for my talents and areas of professional expertise --then denied my existence, after I managed to break free, following years of battles with my handlers.
Though "denying" me as one of their former operatives, they then began to persecute me, by any and every means possible (and they have unlimited resources, including technology and manpower) in their neutralization campaign.
To put it mildly, "they done me wrong". And from long years of experience, long years of attempting to find some way to get justice for a lifetime of being exploited and victimized, resulting in tremendous pain and suffering, incalculable losses, I have concluded that there is most likely nothing I can do about it. At least not the "justice" part. I can only hold on to the belief that God will serve justice, in God's time and in God's way.
But back to my medical consultation in March, 2003. At that time, I was diagnosed as 100% disabled. This, of course, is a legal term relating to persons who are incapable of holding any sort of regular employment, due to chronic illness/disabilities. This was no newsflash to me; it was the same basic diagnosis I'd received from doctors in the past.
I won't go into detail about chronic illness and disability, especially in a public report. I've mentioned some of this (in a limited fashion) in past reports; but I've never been a health bore, and don't intend to become one. I also greatly value my privacy. In the past, when I first went public with my case, I made the mistake of being more open about illness and disability, my purpose being simply to document the abuses by government for the public record.
This was in the days when I had a public e-mail address. Unfortunately, I was inundated with e-mails from people I didn't know, busybodies offering unsolicited advice; some even in the form of amateur medical diagnoses or psychoanalysis! There was also the fundamentalist religious proselytizing, and the usual New Age adherents with their "blame-the-victim" ideology. It was absolutely dreadful and the last thing I needed, so I took steps to protect my privacy by removing e-mail contact info from my website.
For the most part, I don't even talk to friends and family anymore about my health. I have found it to be a bad policy. In my experience, people tend to make unwarranted assumptions; jump to conclusions; or offer amateur "medical" advice, which I have not asked for, and which they are unqualified to give. If I wanted medical advice, I'd see a doctor, that is, if I could afford one.
But there is a point to be made; and a reason I am publishing this report. The point is, I have no reliable source of support (financial or otherwise) of any kind. I have no prospects either. Things just keep getting worse. I am isolated, destitute and disabled, incapable of any sort of gainful "employment" and with nowhere to turn for help.
Although I have tried, repeatedly, to "get through" to some of my family and the few close friends I still have (at least those who have expressed concern for my general wellbeing) about the true nature of my situation, they do not seem to "hear" the truth I am speaking about my own life. Since none of them are in such a situation, I don't expect them to necessarily "understand".
The only thing I have ever expected is that they would at the very least have enough respect to "acknowledge" the truth, without trying to minimize; sanitize or trivialize the facts on which that truth is based. But, for the most part, they haven't even been willing (or able) to do that.
The facts are as follows: I am 100% disabled (in the legal sense) with no access to medical care and "not eligible" for disability benefits.
I have managed to stay alive, for many years, only by the grace of God --and through Christian charity; donations from friends and family, and in the past, (though not in recent history) by donations from the public, people who found my work valuable and wanted to support that work --investigating and exposing government corruption; defending liberty, political activism, etc.
I am now unable to continue that work. I can't do investigations --that costs money. I am unable to travel, my health is too poor, no transportation, no money for travel expenses. Presently, I am not even able to make phone calls, as I cannot afford a phone card.
The plethora of outrageous lies being published about me, in the massive government-sponsored libel campaign, have caused many people to withdraw their support; or not offer it to begin with.
Some people withdrew their financial support because they mistakenly thought it "bought" them the right to meddle in my personal and/or professional business; or to violate my privacy by disclosing personal confidences. Simply put, they did not respect my personal boundaries. When confronted on this issue, their response was to self-righteously withdraw support, rather than acknowledge their inappropriate behavior and treat me with respect.
Some people withdrew their financial support because they mistakenly thought it "bought" them the right to meddle in my personal and/or professional business; or to violate my privacy by disclosing personal confidences. Simply put, they did not respect my personal boundaries. When confronted on this issue, their response was to self-righteously withdraw support, rather than acknowledge their inappropriate behavior and treat me with respect.
But the bottom line is this: Unless I get some concrete support --soon-- in the form of money to pay for desperately needed medical care, I don't believe I'm long for this world.
The rat bastards in the government have set the groundwork --years of abuses, poisonings; attacks with 'non-lethal' weaponry; arranged car crashes; extreme stress and trauma caused by psy-war tactics; criminal harassment, stalking, etc. etc. It has never ended......
I have experienced worsening illness since the New Year, but cannot afford to see a doctor. It seems to me like a case of the 'CIA flu'.....I can't pin down the cause, I can only attempt to deal with the painful symptoms.
These bastards don't have to do much more --the damage is done and the fix is in. But that's the way they planned it. I would say it could be considered the 'perfect murder'....under plausible deniability.
It's also an outrage --one that didn't have to happen; but one I want to make damn certain sure is documented as to WHY.
In order to relieve the stress, the best I have been able to do is withdraw from the world, unplug the phone and pray for peace in my own life. I pray for a miracle of healing (with God, all things are possible) --as I do for others I know to be in similar circumstances-- who like myself, may well be in the last stages of Death by Government.
Barbara Hartwell
February 25, 2007
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His justice, and all these things shall be
added unto you.
Luke 12-31
