Thursday, December 28, 2006
SHOW. ME. THE. MONEY.
Note, December 28, 2006: Needless to say, I was not in a hopeful frame of mind when I wrote this rant. My faith had worn thin, which happens from time to time. It was written at a time when it looked as if all was lost, and I just could not take anymore.
Since that time I have managed to change my viewpoint, and have attained more peace of mind, at least in a spiritual sense, and that is what counts most, at least for me. God has blessed me again and again; and delivered me from my oppressors, and even if I don't have reliable people in my life, my lapses of faith have become (mostly) a thing of the past.
Nonetheless, this report consists of factual information, and if nothing else, shows some of the extreme abuses perpetrated by rat bastards from the U.S. Government.
When I first put this site up, several people told me they thought I should "soften" my approach. They said I should REMOVE the words Government Rat Bastards from the front page of my site.
They feared I would not receive contributions from readers, because I would be considered "too extreme".
My answer? The HELL with those who have their heads in the sand! If they can't see these RAT BASTARDS for what they are, I don't want their money. I'm not in the business of pleasing people, my business is to fight for Liberty and to see Justice done!
But interesetingly enough, shortly after I put the site up, I made a flyer, Barbara Hartwell vs. CIA, which described the contents (as on the front page summary) and which I handed out to everyone I know. Business owners; shop keepers, gas stations, neighbors, etc. etc.
In EVERY case, these people read the flyer and said, YES, THEY ARE RAT BASTARDS!
And these folks had fire in their eyes when they said it.
And they passed my flyers on to others. Because the truth is, most people DO KNOW (even if only intuitively, in their hearts) that there is something very wrong with the government in our country.
Most have not had my experiences, which are certainly not those of the "average person" --but the "average person", in my opinion, does not exist. God created only unique individuals, not "average people". And many of them have the discernment to see the truth. Maybe they just need a little help in waking up to that truth.
And so, money or no money, donations or no donations, I will continue to EXPOSE these Government Rat Bastards until God sends the chariot to take me home!
SHOW. ME. THE. MONEY.
It is with some degree of regret that I have had to make a decision I was hoping I would not have to make. But given my current circumstances, which are now worse by far than at any time since 1994, when I disengaged myself from CIA's black operations and broke the last hold of the mind control programming, I have little choice in the matter.
That is, unless I want to sacrifice myself totally in order to continue doing the work I do. And I refuse to sacrifice myself any longer just so that others may benefit from what I have to offer, when I myself am just NOT receiving the help and support I need. Not by a long shot.
If you have been a regular reader of my articles and reports for some years, you will have heard some of what I am going to say before. If so, please forgive what you may see as redundancy or worse, the same old sob story. Or just stop reading right now, since you may not hear much of anything that's new.
The brutal truth is, I have reached the absolute limits of my endurance at having to live in abject poverty; working long hours seven days a week, without being able to earn the most basic living for my efforts; suffering from physical disabilities and chronic illness for which I have not been able to afford medical or even 'natural' health care; and living under the constant anxiety of losing the very roof over my head.
I'm ill, exhausted to the bone, and flat broke. Enough already!
For the past four months I have suffered from acute and serious illness, which worst of all, has affected my eyes, putting me at risk of losing the vision in the one 'good' eye I have, and even for that eye I need very strong corrective lenses, as I have for both eyes since childhood.
I lost the vision in my right eye in 1986, after I suffered severe head trauma from an 'arranged' car crash. The date was October 13, 1986, a date that has had ominous significance throughout my life, as many strange (and always dreadful) events have occured on that date.
Coincidentally, my Knights Templar ancestor, Jacques de Molay, found that date of significance as well. I believe in Fate, Predestination and Kismet...what else can I say? Of course, I believe in free will too, bestowed by God. And though it can't be apprehended by logic or reasoning, there is no contradiction whatsoever between Fate and Free Will....something one can only know in spirit and in the deepest recesses of the heart.
I guess somebody decided I was supposed to die in that crash, but evidently God had other ideas for me, as I survived through Divine Intervention.
I was driving alone, on a lonely country road, when suddenly my car went out of control for no apparent reason. I let go of the wheel and prayed for help. Somebody, out there in the spirit world, heard me. (Likely the angels, who have been with me all my life and performed miraculous rescue missions many times in the past.)
The car came to a stop by jamming itself between two metal posts which made a convenient break in the guard rail. It was the ONLY break in the guard rail, on the edge of a rocky cliff. Far below, at the end of the rocky embankment, was a reservoir. The car fit perfectly between the two posts and stopped me from going over the edge of the cliff.
The seat belt on the driver's side was broken, so I was thrown hard from one side of the car to the other, striking my head three times. I was in shock and trauma and wandered the road side for a long time before a passing motorist stopped to help me and called the police.
I was taken to a hospital by ambulance. The idiots at the hospital gave me a neck brace and released me. Apparently, they didn't realize that I had a severe concussion; temporary amnesia and that my vision was blurred in the right eye.
Perhaps because they saw no blood, and because I was trained by CIA to always keep control of a situation; a stiff upper lip; never to show my feelings and to keep things close to the vest, they thought everything was just fine and dandy. (As you might imagine, I'm a great poker player.)
A few days later, I was readmitted to the same idiot hospital, when the symptoms became severe and I realized that I could no longer see out of my right eye. I was given all sorts of tests, but not one of the idiot doctors, not even the neurologists, could explain the loss of my vision. I later realized that the loss of vision was caused by a government implant which had jammed into my optic nerve on the impact to my head.
Naturally, I was not able to file a lawsuit for damages, nor to get the continuing medical attention I needed. I was left with a permanent loss of vision in my right eye, where now there is only a mass of scar tissue behind the eye, along with an atrophied optic nerve. That little 'accident' should have set me up financially for life, if nothing else. Instead, I was left with permanent damage for which no help was available. The story of my life.
My attorney (who also happened to be my boyfriend at the time) naturally, worked for CIA. I refused to marry him and then all hell broke loose...That about sums it up...betrayed, as usual, by the unscrupulous bastards whom I was led to believe I could trust. But that's another story....
Getting back to the present day, 17 years later......
In addition to the chronic illness there is the political persecution, the ongoing and escalating slander and libel campaigns by malicious adversaries, the corupt government officials and their minions and dupes, in attempts to discredit me; and the dearth of support and financial donations.
There you have it: A formula for a final and irrevocable disaster. I'm long past running on fumes, I'm running on empty. It's time for me to get off this train.....
Every week I receive hundreds of e-mail messages from people asking for information; professional advice; beseeching me to investigate their cases; asking me to publish their material on my website or on others for which I have posting privileges.....and on and on it goes. I also receive thick dossiers and long letters by post, in which people tell me the stories of their lives, along with lists of questions which they apparently expect me to answer, post haste.
I don't have time to even READ most of this mail, much less answer it. And then I'm expected to be an UNPAID consultant to boot? Where in hell would I find the time, much less the energy?
Most of these folks have never offered any financial support, not even a small donation, for my work, even those whom I have been able and willing to help. Despite the lack of remuneration, I have continued for years to work cases and provide consulting services on a selective basis and always pro bono.
I am trained as a journalist in both print and electronic media; a Jungian analyst; a Transpersonal psychotherapist; a hypnotherapist; a forensic investigator; and have studied enough law to be competent in working legal cases, though I don't have a license to practice law. I have a Doctorate of Divinity degree from seminary school, and was ordained and licensed as a minister, specializing in pastoral counseling, in 1979. I am also trained in Psychological Operations, specifically my area of expertise is creating psychological profiles and debriefing military and intelligence personnel.
Talk about being overqualified......
And yet, for many years, I have been unable to earn the most basic living using these professional skills, simply because the perpetrators have arranged things to make sure I was isolated, alienated and deprived, the classic Psychological Operation for neutralizing a target.
For many years, I have also been writing and publishing material from my own research and based on my personal experience and professional expertise, which I felt could be helpful, enlightening or informative for the general public. And never have I been paid a penny for my work.
To add insult to injury, I have had videotapes of my lectures and TV interviews pirated and sold all over the Internet. Again, I have never been paid a penny by those who have exploited my hard work. And these scavengers continue to violate copyrights merrily along the way, while raking in the cash.
Up to this time, I have just barely scraped by on a combination of financial donations (few and far between) from supporters and what I can only call charity from family and friends. There's nothing wrong with charity in and of itself, but I'm literally sick and tired from being a 'charity case' instead of simply BEING PAID for my work. Quid pro quo, and all that good stuff.
The way I see it, if people find my work valuable, they will just have to be willing to pay me for it. If not, they'll have no problem doing without anything I have to offer.
Some people may be wondering how I earned a living in the past. For my entire adult life, I have been 'self employed', at least when I wasn't doing contract work for CIA under various fronts and cut outs as an 'independent contractor'.
In a nutshell, I offered various professional services to private clients and corporations, for which I was well paid. But once I broke out, as part of the neutralization campaign directed against me, I was blacklisted from every professional field in which I could have earned a living.
Due to disabilities which are a direct result of many years of abuses in the black operations, and let's not forget those 'arranged' car crashes, the latest of which happened in October 1998, I am simply not capable of working any 'regular' job with regular hours.
Naturally, the perpetrators have arranged things so that I am not eligible for any disability benefits, despite the fact that THEY are responsible for those disabilities. I am also NOT eligible for any pension plan, and not even social security benefits, as I have no employment history. How convenient for the perps.
One of the worst things I have experienced is that some of those people who claimed to be 'supporters' and 'friends' have had a sub rosa agenda regarding me. Being the straightest of straight arrows, I have always made it very clear that I will not accept financial donations if there are ANY strings attatched. In other words, if people want to give me money, it must be understood that this does not 'buy' them any of my time; nor my cooperation in matters of importance to them; nor does it make me beholden to them in any way.
I explain that if they make a donation, it should be of their own free choice, simply because, for whatever reason, they have decided my work is valuable and/or that my survival is worth contributuing to. Period. End of story.
And yet, many people seem to think that I owe them something for their contributions or other forms of assistance. Some offer unsolicited advice, which I neither want nor need, and become angry with me when I ignore it or refuse to follow their advice.
Some have attempted to meddle in my personal or professional affairs. Some, who seem to have some sort of savior complex, think it is their duty to 'rescue' me.
Most of these 'rescuers' have been men. And it usually turns out that these guys have some sort of romantic fantasy as regards me. It becomes clear that their REAL reason for wanting to offer 'help' is based not on REAL concern or the 'love' they profess for me as a person, but on the (mistaken) idea that I may be willing to become a girlfriend or wife, once I recognize how 'wonderful' these men are, and how much they 'care' for me.
Oddly enough, once I set them straight, that their romantic interest or 'love' is unrequited, and that romance is the last thing on my mind, they tend to just disappear. Suddenly, there are no more financial contributions, nor offers of other assistance. In fact, from all appearances, it seems not to matter to them if I live or die. Oh well...in any case, these are the type of 'friends' I can definitely live without!
I have never understood why so many people simply don't listen, and worse, why they just can't seem to mind their own business. But I do not allow anyone to violate my spiritual integrity; and I refuse to have dealings with people who do not respect my personal boundaries.
And so, based on these recurring negative experiences with so called 'supporters' and 'friends', I have grown somewhat cynical, to say the least.
This is not to minimize the help I have received over the years in terms of financial contributions and other forms of assistance, from many good people, who in fact had NO agenda regarding me. I am truly very grateful and appreciative of their support. It's just that these people are few and far between, and that I cannot RELY on these sorts of sporadic donations to pay the bills.
There have also been some people who promised or offered continuing financial support, which I was led to believe I could rely on; but which for one reason or another never materialized.
But the bottom line is this: I have decided that I will no longer be an unpaid worker. I am simply no longer willing, nor able, to continue working for nothing, struggling for basic survival, while having no life of my own.
Certainly, I will still welcome and be grateful for contributions. If I happen to get enough contributions from supporters to continue writing and posting material on the Internet, and to maintain my website I will be happy to 'keep up the good work' as so many people have encouraged me to do.
If I do not receive enough donations, then I will use all my time (assuming I have figured out a way to recover my health and survive) writing material for publication and working cases FOR WHICH I WILL BE PAID. Quid pro quo.
Just like the good old days, working for CIA. True, they exploited me, but at least I was able to PAY THE BILLS and put food on the table for myself and my family.
In those days, I actually took vacations. Imagine that. I have to imagine it, I haven't had a vaction in over ten years. I even had husbands and boyfriends...all relationships arranged by CIA....but damn it, at least I had a 'life' which is more than I can say for 'life' out in the cold, where I have been living for too many years.
No, I'm not 'coming in from the cold' to go back to work for 'them', which is what my detractors have been accusing me of for years. I'm simply determined to be paid for my talent, my expertise and my hard work and to 'get a life' .
Maybe I'll take a vacation. Maybe I'll find myself a new boyfriend or even a husband, a man of my OWN choosing, not hand-picked by the stupid CIA bastards. Maybe --mother of all miracles- I'll actually fall in love with someone who's not a spook; a government plant; a religious zealot; a gangster; or a macho-minded moron.
The way I see it, where there's life, there's hope. But before there can be life, somebody will have to SHOW. ME. THE. MONEY.
February 20, 2003